Why spending your honeymoon in bed is not always a good thing
a wedding story
Twenty-six years ago, Adele Johnson Coleman and I tied the knot (note the cool invitation ) in our backyard, in Reno, in the shadow of a snowcapped Mt. Rose.
You'll note the invitation says that the reception would be on June 26 . On that day we had a very casual barbecue in our backyard with all of our friends and family. But, we officially tied the knot in a small ceremony on June 25th, also in our ethereal backyard.
Those were two of the greatest days in my life. That was until later the night of the 26th.
We finished cleaning up the mess in the backyard around 10:00PM. I was sitting in the living room feeling worn out with my wife and a few relatives. Two days previously I had taken a hot tub and started uncontrollably shaking when I got out. That turned out to be a harbinger of something. But, we didn’t think anything of it at the time, or I should I say there was no space in our brains to think about anything other than wedding. But because I was exhausted and chilled as I sat on our sofa after the wedding reception, we pulled out the trusty thermometer. It registered 104 degrees.
That led to the first of a couple of visits to medical professionals at Washoe Med. (now Reliant). My throat looked like it was inhabited by a colony of off-white slime molds. So, I was treated for Strep. The fever came down, but only for a little bit, then the symptoms got worse. The slime mold like things must have thrown a party that included taking turns rubbing my throat with coarse sandpaper.
We don't like breaking up parties, but we felt the need to go to the hospital to break up this one.
The symptoms puzzled the docs.
Washoe Med had just received and set up an ELISA (antibody/antigen) test for mononecleosis in their lab. Although the docs were somewhat sure that it was not mono given my age, they went ahead and gave the ELISA test a whirl.
This led to:
1) I was not only the first person who had that ELISA test done in that hospital (and probably in Reno), I was also the first person diagnosed with mono at Washoe (and probably in Reno) using that antibody test. Not a bad claim to fame, but probably not worth living with mono.
2) I spent my honeymoon in bed for what seemed like a month. That might sound like the world's best honeymoon. But, sleeping 20 hours a day with a throat begging me not to swallow was really not that great for either of us. Sleeping was easy. Swallowing was not. I lost about 25lbs. I should have marketed the mono diet.
Some might think that being infected by the mono virus on your wedding day is not a good harbinger for a marriage.
Fortunately, I had just tied the knot with a fabulous person who shepherded me through this challenge. Also, we had a blended family of our son and three dogs - Fergie, Diana and Bodega who provided some canine healing. Adele and our canine companions have continued to shepherd and support me through so many life and mental health challenges
At that time, I also didn't know I was on the autism spectrum. The personality traits were there even though the diagnosis wasn't. Some of my autistic traits create strong waves that can crash on the beach of a relationship and erode it.
I am not sure how Adele did it, but she managed to hang with me for 26 years despite all of that. She also gave up her comfort as a nester to join the nomad in me as I moved up the academic administrative ladder and searched on average every 4 years for belonging somewhere that I never found. Now I understand, as Jackson Browne wrote, " no matter how fast I run, I can't get away from me." Fortunately, Adele didn't let me get away from her.
I often pinch myself as a reminder that I am the luckiest person in the world to have walked through the last 26 years with Adele, our son Chuck, and our canine best friends- Fergie, Dianne, Bodega, Shasta, Tahoe, Ginger, Halley, Annie, Brea and Kira.
So, happy anniversary to us! And, a skeptical sort of “thank you” to the mononucleosis virus for creating unique memories for a newly married coupled.
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